Jesus, Wait!!!!

Don't worry, this post isn't sacrilegious. It is, however, one of my most favorite humorous memories of all time.

This story starts out in a very ordinary way, about 9 years ago when I was working at R.C. Willey as a cashier. It was a particularly busy day due to a special promotion that was going on. For every $500 spent, you received some sort of free gift, although I can't recall what the gift was during that promotion. 

On this particular day, a cute and very professional saleslady (I won't reveal her name in case she somehow ever reads this blog) was working. I heard rumors that she was one of the most successful salespeople there, and it was easy to see why. Hard-working, demure, friendly, and attractive, she had a faithful following of "Willey" regulars.

However, on this busy day she seemed to be a little flustered as she tried to take care of all her customers' needs. She brought back a Latino customer and handed me his invoice so that I could ring him up, then thanked him graciously and walked hastily away. I pulled up his account and asked him to confirm his name. It was Jesus (pronounced "hay soos"). I rang him up, handed him his invoice, and he was soon on his way towards the exit at the front of the building. 

A few moments later, the cute little saleslady ran breathlessly up to me and asked if the man had left, because she had forgotten to give him his free gift! I pointed to where he was rapidly approaching the front door, and she started to walk hastily towards him. After glancing down at his name on a copy of the invoice that she held in her hand, she looked back up, reached her arm out and yelled (in the English pronunciation) "Jesus, wait!!!!". He continued to walk towards the exit, so she started to jog while waving her arm and yelling more desperately "Jesus, WAIT!!!! WAIT, Jesus!!!!". Of course he didn't react to her at all, but she was getting plenty of reactions from the other customers in the store. People stopped dead in their tracks to watch the crazy saleslady who was clearly having some sort of hallucination and believed that Jesus was leaving her alone in this cold, cruel world. The saleslady was so stumped that her customer wasn't responding to her that she didn't even notice she had become the sole focus of everyone's attention. 

Of course, I knew what the customer's name really was, and I was sitting in the back crying with laughter as I watched the spectacle unfold before my eyes. Finally, a fellow salesman had pity on her and laughingly told her to stop yelling. He whispered something in her ear and her face turned from complete confusion to absolute embarrassment as she looked around at her unexpected audience. She took it very gracefully and laughed right along with the rest of us. Jesus never did get his free gift, but the rest of us got a memory that we'll never forget.