Standing for Something

The other day, a couple of my sisters and I were quoting funny lines from a hilarious TV show that we like to watch. It has some humor in it that is "off-color" and inappropriate, but I love it anyway. I'm not writing this to make myself or anyone else feel guilty for watching it, because it makes me laugh when I really need to laugh the most. And I'm not talking about a cute little "hehe" laugh. I'm talking about the loud kind of laugh that makes me sound like a demented elf. I love the show so much that I am willing to "overlook" its inappropriateness. :)

However, something happened a couple of weeks ago that really made me think about what it means to stand for something. While my sisters and I were quoting funny lines from this particular show in a group text message, one of my sisters asked what show the line was from. Another sister told her the name of the show, then quickly followed it up by saying: "you wouldn't like it". It wasn't meant as a jab in any way. It was just a statement of fact. We all knew that this particular sister would not appreciate the humor in that television show. It was as sure to us as her very existence.

As time passed, I quickly forgot our texting conversation, but one statement stayed with me for days afterward: "you wouldn't like it". It was such a simple statement, but to me it was profoundly rich in meaning. To live one's life in such a way that everyone knows without a doubt what you stand for is such a rare feat in today's world. I have a sister who lives this way. Though she is far from perfect just like the rest of us, she is a rare beacon of light in today's lost and wandering world. While modern society is flooded with moral relativism and constantly wavering standards, my sister (and those like her), are like lighthouses in a harbor - steadfast and constant.

Thank you, sweet
sister (whom I will not name in case you will be embarrassed :), for living in such a way that no one ever has to wonder what you stand for.

Dude, You're Peeing on My Tire

I am starting to realize that some of my funniest and most random memories took place in the parking lot of the Springville Allen's. This one is no exception. Once again, I was a teenager and had driven to Allen's to pick up Alicia from work. I was waiting for her in the parking lot with my windows cracked and my seat leaned way back. It was a warm day and I was enjoying the cool breeze that blew through the windows.

I had just started to doze off in the warmth of the afternoon sun, when I was slowly brought back to wakefulness by the sound of sprinkling rain. But there was just one problem... it wasn't raining. After listening for a moment longer, it almost sounded like someone was peeing just outside my window, but that would be ridiculous. I slowly raised my seat to investigate, and to my surprise, my eyes were met with the disturbing scene of an old man peeing on my tire. I was completely horrified and disgusted, so naturally, I honked my horn. The poor guy jumped higher than I have ever seen anyone jump, but he couldn't seem to stop "the flow", and his pants were soon soiled in the front.

Now, I would normally feel really bad for making someone urinate all over themselves, but the guy really wasn't THAT old, and he seemed to be aware enough of his actions to be extremely embarrassed by them. He also seemed to be in good control of his physical movements (except maybe his bladder), so it wasn't as if he couldn't have walked into the store to pee in... oh, I don't know... an actual bathroom maybe? Also, as soon as he realized that there was someone in the vehicle that he was peeing on, he scurried into the backseat of his own car, which was parked DIRECTLY in front of my van, facing me. So he could have peed on his own tire if he really had to go that bad.

The most awkward part of the entire experience was sitting in my van while he sat in his car and we tried to avoid looking at each other. Every once in a while my eyes would dart to his face (I couldn't help it), and I would see that his eyes had just darted to my face too. Then we would both look awkwardly away. I am not sure why I didn't just walk into the store at that point. Maybe I was afraid my van would be assaulted again with old man urine. His only option was to stay in his car, thanks to the big wet spot on the front of his pants.

Before long, two cute little old ladies walked out of the store and got into the driver's seat and passenger seat of the car that the ninja urinator was in. I can only imagine how awkward that smelly ride home must have been. Meanwhile, I had to deal with the disturbing thoughts of old man pee splashing up on the undercarriage of my van with every wheel revolution as I drove Alicia home.

If anyone else has a similar experience, please share in the comments section. I am really curious to know if anyone else regularly has random things like this happen to them. ;)